If I could keep track of my mental health diagnoses, I probably wouldn’t want to anyways. There are too many, and they have been around for too long. They are not welcome.
This fight for sanity has become a source of pain in my life, and while it seems like others eventually learn to cope with their unfortunate circumstances, I stay stuck. I remind myself that other people feel this static as well. I am not alone. We are all just floating inside our own glass jars with our own pain. It’s escaping the glass jar, reaching out, and being honest that is the challenge.
I have never had an issue with honesty. There is an Andrea Gibson quote that explains my openness perfectly. She says, “my mouth is a fire escape. The words coming out don’t care that they are naked. There is something burning in there.” My mind is on fire, and I am constantly crying for help. BUT it is because of my inclination to survive, and my ability to come out of my glass jar asking for help, that I am still alive.
My experiences include Eating Disorders, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety, Self-harm, and Suicidality. Some days I am grateful that I am still alive. Others, I wish I wasn’t so ‘lucky.’ I have lived through childhood trauma, psychiatric hospital stays, and suicide attempts. My life hasn’t been flawless but, my God, I am so grateful for the blessings I do have.
With this blog, I am hoping to continue reaching out, building a support community, and battling mental illness. I will share my experiences in, and out of the psychiatric hospital. I will be honest and open. I will continue to fight.
all my love Xx